Every 3 months the Business Instincts Group gets together and asses the progress on our goals and KPI’s (Key performance indicators).  The process involves getting constructive feedback from each one of our co- workers.  I find this review to be the most exciting yet most anxious exercises that one can put themselves through.  It is hard to sit down in front of your co workers who also happen to be my closest friends and have them tell you what your doing right and what your doing wrong  for 20 minutes. Every one at the table gets a chance to talk and  go through all of the things we are doing well, things we need to improve on, and all of the things we need to focus on for the next 3 months.  As we go around the table and it gets closer to my turn I can feel my palms getting sweaty and my heart starting to race, part of me just wants to slink away and melt away.  Thoughts start to roll through my head…..

Are they going to tell me what they really think of me?

What are they going to say about me?

You are such a failure?

Why do you suck so much?

The usual negative messages that one plays in their heads when they are about to get slammed with feedback…

As my turn approaches and I listen to the feedback from each of my team members I pick out the reacurring trends and focus mainly on all the negative things that they are saying…completley leaving behind the positive feedback which of course is equally abundant.

After everything is over I try my darnedest to keep my composure and not start to cry like a baby because that would let everyone know how I really feel. I reflect on what has been said I realize to my self that as much as I hate hearing anything negative those are the things that will make me better in the end.  Those little gems of realization will allow me to break past anything that I’m refusing acknowledge and ensure that I take a look because now everyone else is looking.

I have a love hate relationship with failure. Lets face it, the truth is that no one likes to fail.  For me, failing shows that I don’t know everything even if I think I do and that I am only human and humans screw up.  After looking at failure and really seeing what the realization of one does I think that the positives of failure far out way the negatives. Failures are the things that make me determined to do better the next time, the things that allow me to find another solution, to do better the next time around.

“Fail hard, Fail fast, and then get up and move one”.  I can’t count the number of times I have fallen flat on my face and but managed to move on failures are the things that allow me to make this journey worth taking.

Take a look at your failures as big or little as they may be and learn from them, that’s where I believe real growth comes from.